We Can Change the World - Meditation

We Can Change the World - Meditation

Yes, definitely, we can change the world ONLY if and when we change first. Whatever change in the outside world SHOULD and MUST begin in the Inner "world", our Inner World.

For us to begin the much needed change we all wish to happen, we need to have in our conciousness - that of peaceful beings. This will make it easier for us to want to change. From here, the world out there will change.

JIN JI DU LI (« El gallo de oro o ‘Gallo Dorado’ se sostiene sobre una pata »)

Jin Ji Du Li （金雞獨立）

Jin Ji Du Li, traducido como “el gallo dorado o ‘el gallo de oro’ de pie con una pata”, es popularmente conocido como la posición grulla o flamenco, que se utiliza mucho en karate. Está formado levantando una rodilla o pierna hasta su máxima altura.  Se puede dirigir la cara hacia delante o a un lado del contrincante. Al igual que con el karate, Jin Ji Du Li  es usado como una plataforma tanto para patadas frontales como las patadas laterales. También se emplea frecuentemente a nivel defensivo para contrarrestar patadas bajas hasta medias y altas. Por último, se utiliza en estilos del Norte para Tiao Bu (“paso de salto”) y Dan Tiao (“salto-único”), dos técnicas de movimiento para avanzar o retroceder. También conocido como la postura de la grulla en muchos artes marciales.

EL DESAFIO DEL DIA:

¿Has visto alguna vez un flamingo (flamenco) en un zoo de una ciudad o en algún lugar de pie con una sola pata, ojos cerrados mientras está descansando o durmiendo? Seguro que sí. ¿Te has preguntado por qué lo hace al igual que una grulla o un ave de la misma familia? Bueno, sigue leyendo.

PRACTICA JIN JI DU LI  PARA TU SALUD

La esencia de este ejercicio es que tus "ojos deben estar cerrados estar de pie con un solo pie" (ver la foto abajo) nada más y nada menos cuando estás haciendo este ejercicio. Repito, debes practicar el ejercicio del Jin Ji Du Li  con los ojos cerrados.

Esta práctica/ejercicio, mejor hacerlo al aire libre. No conviene llevar pantalones vaqueros o pantalones muy apretados. Dificultaría un poco el levantamiento de la pierna. ¡Cuánto más cómoda la ropa, mejor!

Aquí está el ejercicio: Consiste en ponerte de pie con un solo pie entre 10 y 15 segundos (alternando los dos pies – opcional).

Ponte de pie sobre una pierna, con los ojos cerrados. ¡Eso es todo! Nada más y nada menos. Haz la prueba ahora mismo, deja de leer esto y ponte de pie, cierra los ojos y trata de mantenerte de pie en un sólo pie. Verás que no vas a poder hacerlo. Tomas mi desafío. Bueno, ¡HAZLO entonces!

Si no eres capaz de permanecer durante por lo menos 10 segundos, significa que tu cuerpo ha degenerado hasta el nivel 60 a 70 años de edad aunque ahora mismo tengas 25, 30 ó 40 años por ejemplo. En otras palabras, es posible que sólo tengas 40 años de edad o menos, pero tu cuerpo ha envejecido mucho más rápido. ¡No te asustes. No tengo ni la menor intención de meter miedo en tu cuerpo. Sólo quiero informarte, ¡NADA MÁS! ¿OK?

Mi experiencia Personal

He intentado/probado/hecho este ejercicio cuando leí esta información por primera vez y pensé: "¡Oh, qué interesante y qué fácil es! Estoy seguro que puedo hacerlo. Es súper fácil. Esto está ‘chupao’ ". ¿Sabes qué? De ‘chupao’, ¡nada! Me estaba engañando a mí mismo. Yo tenía demasiada confianza en mí. No estoy diciendo que tener confianza en uno mismo es malo. De hecho, está muy bien tener confianza en uno mismo, pero con humildad; es decir sin pre-potencia.

Me alegra haberlo intentado/probado (yo no estoy cerrado a nada, sobre todo si se trata de mi propia salud física), porque descubrí, para mi sorpresa que, mientras yo podía soportar fácilmente en un sólo pie con los ojos abiertos, ¡intentando o haciendo lo mismo con los ojos cerrados es otra historia! No es fácil mantener el equilibrio físico, quiero decir, durante más de dos o tres segundos antes de empezar a tambalearse, temblar y saltar de un lado para otro.

No es necesario que levantes mucho tu pierna; puedes apoyar tu pie levantado en tu pierna si quieres. Si tus órganos internos están fuera de sincronía, incluso levantando la pierna un poco te hará tambalearte. Estos chinos han avanzado mucho en su conocimiento del cuerpo humano.

Fue muy alentador para mí personalmente saber que la práctica frecuente y con  regularidad de Jin Ji Du Li puede ayudar a recuperar el sentido del equilibrio. De hecho, los especialistas chinos sugieren que la práctica diaria de Jin Ji Du Li durante 1 minuto, ayuda a prevenir la demencia.

Puedes probar los siguientes pasos como principiante:

-         Ponte de pie al lado de una pared (lateralmente)

-         Apóyate una mano en la pared

-         Levanta uno de tus pies (apoyándole en la otra pierna si quieres)

-         Cierra los ojos

-         Ahora viene lo difícil. Suelta la mano de la pared con la misma postura de antes y mantén los ojos CERRADITOS

-         No te alejes de la pared por si te tambaleas y si te caes para apoyar la mano.

-         Haz esto varias veces hasta que logres mantenerte de pie con una un solo pie, ojos cerrados y sin apoyar la mano en la pared.

-         Puedes cerrar un poco los dos ojos, en lugar de cerrarlos completamente durante el tiempo de practicar Jin Ji Du Li. De hecho esto es lo que el especialista en salud Zhong Li Ba Ren recomienda.

Ahora lo sabes por qué los flamencos (flamingos), grullas y especies similares lo hacen. Han estado haciéndolo desde el tiempo inmemorial este ejercicio o práctica de Jin Ji Du Li todo el tiempo sin que nosotros lo sepamos. ¡Qué listos son! ¿No crees?

Mientras tienes más práctica, ya puedes abandonar la pared y ya lo puedes hacer en cualquier sitio.

RECOMENDACIÓN MÍA: Hazlo al aire libre, descalzo/a si puede ser en la tierra, en la playa, en un jardín… prácticamente en todos los sitios donde te apetezcas. Sólo 15 a 20 segundos de nada hasta 1 minuto ó 2 si quieres, alternando los pies.

Cuanto más frecuente, mejor. No te estoy diciendo que lo hagas todos los días si no te apetece, pero por lo menos unas cuantas veces durante el transcurso del día. ¡Es divertidísimo! Además, los beneficios mentales y físicos que te aporta este ejercicio de Jin Ji Du Li, te sientes ligero y despejado. ¡Pruébalo! Te lo debes a ti “Porque tú lo vales” (L’Oreal).

La práctica diaria de Jin Ji Du Li, puede ayudar en la curación de muchas enfermedades como los siguientes:

·        La hipertensión

·        Atos niveles de azúcar en la sangre o diabetes

·        Tener bien lejos la posibilidad de demencia, entre otras dolencias o enfermedades como:

--> Hipertensión arterial

--> Enfermedades de la médula

--> Cuelo o cervicales

--> Prevenir la gota

--> Aumenta las defensas del organismo

Efectos  formidables para el organismo:

--> Sensación de bienestar

--> Mejoría en la calidad de sueño

--> Claridad mental

--> Aumento de memoria

--> Mantiene el cerebro sano

Beneficios:

--> Activa y regenera la circulación sanguínea

--> Previene posibles bloqueos y anomalías internas

--> Promueve el drenaje linfático

--> Activa el metabolismo general del cuerpo

 

     Zhong Li Ba Ren ha escrito un libro titulado "Self-Help Is Better Than Seeking Doctors’ Help” (La auto ayuda es mejor que buscar ayuda de los médicos"), que es un best-seller que ha sido el libro más vendido de la salud en China. Desde que se publicó por primera vez el año pasado, su éxito se puede medir por el hecho de que ha sido reimpreso 12 veces en 6 meses, con más de 1 millón de copias vendidas. El libro es un gran vendedor, porque enseña muchos sencillos consejos prácticos de salud.

Se dice que de acuerdo a la comprensión de los médicos chinos, las enfermedades aparecen en el cuerpo debido a que surgen problemas en la coordinación entre los diversos órganos internos lo que hace que el cuerpo pierda su equilibrio. Jin Ji Du Li puede reajustar esta interrelación de los órganos y cómo funcionan entre sí. Zhong Li Ba Ren afirmó que muchas personas no pueden ponerse en un pie con los ojos cerrados más de 5 segundos, pero más tarde, si lo practican a diario, son capaces de hacerlo durante más de 2 minutos.

A medida que adquieres la capacidad de permanecer por más tiempo, la sensación de "cabeza pesada" desaparece. Con la práctica de Jin Ji Du Li, experimentarás que la calidad del sueño mejora, la mente se despeja y mejora significativamente la memoria. Lo más importante es que si se practica Jin Ji Du Li con los ojos cerrados durante 1 minuto cada día, no sufrirás de demencia, (esto también significa que el cerebro se mantendrá saludable).

Zhong Li Ba Ren explicó que hay seis meridianos importantes que pasan por las piernas. Cuando estás de pie sobre una sola pierna, los meridianos más débiles sentirán dolor, y como esto ocurre, los órganos correspondientes de estos meridianos y sus formas de camino, comienzan a recibir el ajuste necesario. Este método puede enfocar o concentrar la conciencia, y el canal de chi o qi (energía) del cuerpo hasta los pies. Los efectos beneficiosos de la práctica de Jin Ji Du Li se nota en varias enfermedades asociadas con la hipertensión, diabetes, enfermedades del cuello y la columna vertebral, sus efectos son rápidos en ser vistos y sentidos. Jin Ji Du Li también puede prevenir la gota.

Jin Ji Du Li ayuda a fortalecer la inmunidad del cuerpo rápidamente y es adecuado para todos en general. Es la cura básica para la "Enfermedad de Pies fríos" y también puede reforzar la inmunidad del cuerpo. No tienes que esperar hasta tener alguna enfermedad para comenzar a practicar Jin Ji Du Li. Es especialmente beneficioso para los jóvenes, cuando practican a diario, mientras están sanos, por lo que sus posibilidades de contraer enfermedades asociadas con el paso del tiempo es comparativamente más baja.

ADVERTENCIA LÓGICA: Ten en cuenta que no es adecuado para personas mayores de 70 años de edad (casi estoy ya “fuera de combate” – je – je – je – j, por tener 64 años,  que cumpliré mañana, 30 de Julio) o personas de edad cuyas piernas no son fuertes y no puede permanecer mucho tiempo de pie.

 Quiero terminar con lo que dice George Gissing abajo que me encanta. ¡Tiene ‘miga’! -  Un abrazo fuerte, Ross -

“Es la mente la que crea el mundo que nos rodea y aún cuando nos encontramos juntos, parados en la misma pradera, mis ojos nunca verán lo que los tuyos contemplan y mi corazón nunca se agitará con las emociones que conmueven al tuyo”. – George Gissing –

- - - - - - - - - - - -
Ross Galán, NLP Spiritual Life Coach Coach                                                                                         
E-mail: unicoross@hotmail.com                                                                                                               Tel: (+34) 619 564 204 204                                                                                                                     

ON HAPPINESS

The Seven Masks We Wear

It’s often forgotten that one of the dragons that must be slain on the road to happiness is the cause of sorrow. It seems likely that few of us will clearly see what brings our spirit down, simply because it’s too close to home. It is so close, so subtle and very often so subconscious. It’s those moments when we are trying to be someone we are not, without realising it. Those moments can last from a few minutes to a lifetime! They are not easy to spot because they are events that originate and happen entirely within our consciousness. And unless we have developed a ‘fine’ degree of self awareness we won’t be able to recognise we are not being our self!

The basic principle is: If you try to be anything or anyone other than your self then a loss of happiness and some form of sorrow must result.

A good analogy to describe the origins of such moments of sorrow is the mannequin party. Everyone turns up holding a mask on a stick in front of their face, which makes them almost (but not quite) impossible to recognise. You could say that they are both hiding and attempting to project an unreal image of themselves. Without being fully aware of it we do the same within our consciousness when we create what is known as a ‘subtle self image’. It’s as if we hold the self image like a mask in front of our consciousness and we attempt to ‘wear’ that image/mask. All our thoughts, feelings and behaviours are then ‘shaped by’ and ‘flow from’ that image.

There are of course many ‘gross’ or obvious self images that we have all learned to create and hide ourselves behind. These include images based on what our bodies look like, what we do, the group that we ‘believe’ we belong to or align with (from a football team to a religion!), our family history, our nations etc. We create and use such images to define our sense of identity and depending on the situation and circumstances we will switch between these images, which is like switching masks, as we wander through the party we call life! This is probably one reason why we have an identity crisis in the world in general, and why many people in particular, will at some stage of their life spend time, money and energy searching for themselves, as they try to find out who they are...exactly! It takes a little while to realise we are all no one! But that’s another seminar!

In the meantime, while we may realise the obvious i.e. that we are not what we do, not what we look like in the mirror and not where we were born, we will probably find it hard to see the more ‘subtle masks’ that we wear and switch between during the course of an average day. There are many. They are all sources of sorrow simply because they block out or distort the light of our natural happiness. Here are seven of many masks, many subtle images that we create and identify with. What you might call the Seven Masks We Wear!

Remember everything that we think, feel, decide and do is shaped by our subtle self image. Which of the following do you recognise within your self most strongly?

The Sensible Mask

The creator and wearer of this self image tends to consider themselves to be the person who always does the right thing, the reasonable thing, the common sense thing. They tend to think, “I am the one to bring some grounded sense to you and your/this situation”. They want to be seen by others as balanced, stable, sensibly correct and correctly sensible! They will be quickly on hand to give good advice and guidance the moment they sense something might be ‘going south’! They will allow themselves the feeling of satisfaction once their advice has been dispensed but they will get easily frustrated at the sight of others doing what they consider to be stupid and nonsensical. And then they will worry that others won’t actually follow their advice, which is why they can so easily and regularly lose their happiness.

The Mask of Shame

People wear this mask as soon as they think they have done something wrong, which is frequent. They even watch and identify with others wrong-doings and feel guilty on their behalf. Most frequent thoughts include, “I messed up again...I always get this wrong... I am not able to do this without letting someone down”. Seeing oneself as guilty is easy if we had a childhood full of judgemental parents or scolding teachers and the regular insinuations that, “You are wrong again!” The built-in sadness that lives at the heart of guilt and shame will always be waiting to prick any bubble of genuine happiness.

The Subservient Mask

When we wear this mask we bow down to others in our minds. We hold others as greater than us. Thoughts emerge like, “I wish I could do that...I can never be that good...I am just lucky to know them”, are all signs that our self image is always of ‘smallness’ in comparison to others. As we suppress our self in this way we suppress our natural happiness making any lasting contentment impossible.
 
The Superior Mask
We wear this mask when we think of our self as the one who doesn’t just know but ‘knows everything’ the most clearly and the most deeply. We think of ourselves as the ‘greater one’, the one who has a solution to everything. There will be an air of superiority and an attitude of ‘I know better’. This is a self image that guarantees we will see others as threats to our “throne.” There will be the fear that maybe we don’t know best/deepest/clearest and that ‘they’ actually do. This will gnaw away at our happiness on the inside but we probably won’t notice it.

The Seductive Mask

This is the mask of the needy, worn when we want others’ attention so that we can feel valued. We attempt to attract others’ energy to us. This is not referring to ‘seductive’ at a physical level. That gross self image based on form has already been transcended (!). Seductive here means the elegant words, the flattering observations, the warmest compliments all expressed in ways that are mentally and emotionally attractive to ‘the other’. We then create and carry a certain pride when others gravitate towards us as a result of what we believe to be our magnetic attractiveness. This becomes a dragon that needs to be fed regularly and when the food is threatened, as it will be every day, the anxiety will dispatch any happiness with clinical efficiency.

The Sensitive Mask

This is a popular mask worn when we see ourselves as the one who cares most and best. We are always on the lookout for opportunities to ‘be there’ for others in their emotional and personal crisis. The ‘sensitive’ will think, “Only I can appreciate what you are going through...only I can help you to deal with your life challenges... only I can sense what’s really going on here.” The arrogance that sits in behind this mask is always swinging between fear and anger. Fear that we may miss something and lose our reputation as the ‘oh’ so ‘sensitive and caring one’. And anger that others might not allow us to get under their skin in order to fully sense and understand what they are going through so that we can be seen to care for and about them. And so happiness will be a fleeting and dependent on the one for whom we are being so sensitive.

The Mask of Sorrow

Well they are all masks that induce sorrow but the king of all the masks is the self image based on sorrowfulness. It is worn most frequently when we decide to feel sorry for ourselves. Even when we may be shouting at others, “I don’t want your pity”, we are pitying ourselves that we have attracted the pity of others. On the one hand we use others pity to enhance our sorrowful self image, and then we fervently reject it and make ourselves feel isolated with the thought, “Am I the only one who feels sorry for me?”.

These subtle self images, that we create and wear as masks on the inside, are of course the ‘ego at work’. It is just a subtler level of the habit of creating and identifying with something we are not. That something is always an image, or a concept, or an idea, or just a belief. None of these masks is ever the true self. They can never be the ‘real’ I. The true face behind the mask is the creator and wearer of the mask. It is the face that can never be seen. And happiness is only possible when we have no mask. That’s when we are aware of our self as the faceless face...so to speak! But for most of us that can sound a bit…scary! So up pops The Scary Mask!

Which of the seven masks above do you think you tend to create and wear most frequently?

I’d like you to reflect on the question of ‘How would you describe the precise nature of your sorrow when you hide behind this mask?’

You may need to watch for those sorrowful feelings this coming week and as soon as you become aware of them take of your mask and see what difference it makes.
- - - - - -
Ross Galan, NLP Spiritual Life Coach

HAPPINESS

Simple Ways to Have Happy Experiences

Happiness is a ‘now you feel it, now you don’t’ emotion. I know this from personal experience and from hearing of the experiences of others. Sometimes I’m very happy, other times, sad, joyful, contented, frustrated, and sometimes very neutral.

Several years ago I had no reference point for the word happy. I knew technically the meaning of the word, however the experience eluded me. Joy I could do, happy for some reason, no.

One day during a workshop the word happy was demonstrated to me with much laughter from the audience. Now I not only get ‘happy’ but remember it also as a fun experience.

There are many small things that can make me happy as well as give me endless joy. I’ve listed seven simple ways toward experiencing a happy moment, but first check you have a reference point to the word happy. Find out what happy really means to you?

1. Remember or create a ‘happy’ moment. When you live the experience of ‘happy’ your mind and body will remember. Feel the happiness in all parts of you, expand this feeling if need be. Practise this daily.

2. Access the Present moment. Notice what happens to you when you’re totally focused on a comedy show on television, when you listen to light hearted music or when you dance – even if it’s on your own. I sometimes groove to a tune in my office when no-one’s looking – it makes me feel good, cool, gives me a break from what I’m doing and I laugh at myself!

3. Invite friends over for some play time. Organise paper, crayons, paint, and coloured pencils, whatever you can think of and do some drawings or paintings. You could also ask each person to bring along a plate of food.

4. Spend time with nature, go for a walk down the beach or park; observe wildlife in your area or visit a plant nursery. Notice your mood when amongst the spirit of nature.

5. Take something with you that gives you great pleasure such as a book, journal for writing or your MP3 player and sit and ‘Be’ under the canopies of trees for a few hours.

6. Learn something totally new such as another language; pottery or painting or start your meditation, personal or spiritual development program. You’re only ever limited by your own imagination.

7. Join a club or group that you have an interest in. You can then expand your friendship base with other like-minded souls.

With any of the above activities assess what and how you’re feeling as well as where you feel the emotion and how much are you laughing, grinning, or smiling? Remember them totally by living the experience and you will then be able to recall this memory when you want to.

Include to memory your experience colours, smells, sounds and tastes – all the better for remembering your happy time with.

Quiet time spent alone can open the door to the possibility of connection to that most amazing and magical part of you that is your true self, the spirit within.

From my experience the key to a happy life begins with remembering who you are, know what gives you enjoyment, be present, and know that regardless of your circumstances no one can take away your thoughts or dreams, they are yours to keep for as long as you wish.

 - - - - -
Ross Galan, NLP Spiritual Life Coach

Self Improvement Ideas: The Search For Inner Peace

I have no doubt that there are many people out there who are searching for ways of improving their overall quality of life. We have no divine right to be happy of course but on the other hand we should not just sit back and accept second best. I am the type of person who basically just wants to be happy, I have no desire to become mega rich, but what I am looking for, and at the moment have achieved, is an inner peace.

When looking into ways and ideas of improving my life, I ask myself a series of questions:

What areas of my life am I not happy with?

What can I do to improve my life?

Am I happy with my current role of employment?

Am I happy with my current financial situation?

Am I happy in the relationship that I have with my girlfriend?

How could my life become easier and more stress-free?

These are just a few of many questions that I ask myself and I have listed them purely as an example.

In the past, I would always become quite stressed at around the start of the year. This was because I have a son who has a birthday in November, then of course in December is the celebration of Christmas. These two events would leave me with a bit of a financial headache as I have to admit that I tend to spoil my family and go a bit overboard on the spending.

I did not want to reduce the amount that I spent on their presents or on the social aspect of Christmas or my sons birthday and instead started to look for a solution to this financial stress which as previously stated would occur in January.

What I eventually decided that I would do, which now seems just like common sense, was to save as much as I could every month. I would have a certain figure in mind that I wanted to save, as I was aware that I needed to live and have some fun throughout the year as well. By the time November came around on the next year, I had rather a nice amount of money in the bank, which basically made both events even more enjoyable than previous years. This was because I had an inner peace of mind. When January came around I was fine as I had no debts or financial worries. This form of saving is something that I now do every year.

With each and every question I ask myself, I always attempt to find a solution similar to the way I did in the above example. If my girlfriend is annoying me for whatever reason I try and talk to her. I tell her what the issues are and also ask if there is anything that I am doing that annoys her. This is done in a very light hearted manner, so as to not cause more damage etc.

I have now reached a stage of my life where I am quite content with what I have. I am able to sleep soundly at night and am very much looking forward to the future. I have achieved an inner peace and now just have to work hard to make it stay that way. Life at times is a battle and the negative part of my brain tries hard to ruin me. I am determined to stay strong and focused to ensure that I ignore this negative voice and that I continue to listen to the positive side of my brain.

If you are one of these people who are not happy or content with your life at the moment, I am sure that by asking yourself a series of questions and then trying to find your own solutions, that you will also be able to find your own inner peace.

- - - - -
Ross Galan, NLP Spiritual Life Coach

 

The Culture of Excess

We live in a society of gadgets and gizmos, of toys and more toys, of things that evoke feelings of luxury, style and class. This is available to almost everyone, not just a privileged few. This is the 21st century.

No other time of the year is it more prevalent, conspicuous and aggressively promoted than during the Christmas season.

Thanks to advances in technology, the airwaves, the print and electronic media are flooded with advertisements that appeal to society in general, to people from all walks of life.

Open any newspaper or magazine and indulge yourself with endless advertisement, appealing, titillating and surely tempting. You can’t miss it, it’s almost in every page and glares you in the face.

Turn on the computer and you can access more goods and services at the click of a mouse. Add to this endless ads and banners.

The young generation is brought up in this era of consumerism. They are introduced to a high maintenance lifestyle at a very young age. Gone are the days when shopping for children was fun. A time when it did not take much to make their young hearts happy. Life was simpler.

Times have surely changed. The trappings of good life is no longer the sole domain of the wealthy. Comfort, travel, wheels, homes, luxury, name it, it is within the reach of anyone who is willing to pay the price. It is no longer just a dream.

This is just the beginning of the conspicuous consumption of our society. In the name of convenience, there are more and more gadgets for the home introduced faster than one can pay off existing debt. However, this is not a deterrent.

It is no longer a matter of meeting a need, the “want” list gets longer and longer. Each member of a family has their own want list.

Technology is wonderful; it allows man to take great strides, faster and more accurate than our forbears. Technology makes it possible for man to explore space, the depths of the ocean, the untrodden parts of this earth. Through technology, man has made incredible advances in science, communication and the medical field. Technology is if great benefit to mankind.

It is very much a part of our daily lives. There is a downside- man wants more of the convenience that comes with it. It fuels the imagination of both producers and consumers. It stimulates the need to want more. It encourages the desire to pamper oneself, and loved ones with more goods.

Having more than what they need promotes a sense of living the good life. For every season, for every occasion, the market offers boundless ideas and endless flow of material goods. Beware, quality is slipping down too fast, as production and advertisement are cranked up higher, some of the quality is compromised.

The convenience that technology offers is hard to ignore. How did we manage before, when most of the chores were done manually? Imagine the time spent to get anything done?

Take a look around the house, push a button to get laundry or the dishes done. Press another button to start the car before you open the door. Set a timer for your coffeemaker, for your lights to come on at a desired time, your radio to wake you up. Wouldn’t you be lost without that remote control?

What about the other gadgets and tools for the handyman? Look at the other things around the house to make living more convenient and definitely add to that feeling of comfort and luxury.

There’s more. Communication is revolutionized. Each member of the family has to be wired. Watch the ads, imagine the convenience of having extra gadgets for each family member just for so much a month. Add to this the paraphernalia that goes with it, some of which are good to have but not a necessity. But does it matter? It becomes a must have.

The quest for material goods is at excessive proportions. It hits the very core of a person. Some can only measure success relative to their material possessions. Some identify their self-worth with material acquisitions. The words status and prestige are medals they wear proudly. Rightly so, if it makes them happy.

How much of these goods are on credit? How many sleepless nights are spent doing endless calculations and adjustments? Is there room for a quiet time that
comes at no cost? Or do they experience that feeling of emptiness amid a comfortable surroundings?

Does this culture of excess spell happiness and peace?

- - - - -
Ross Galan, NLP Spiritual Life Coach

Simple Happiness

If you aren’t happy, why aren’t you?

Chances are it is because you want something which you do not have, objects or conditions. This is probably not a good enough reason and a review of your situation and perceptions may be in order.

You may have seen video of children in very poor countries laughing and playing, unconcerned that they should have more to be happy about. They are happy because they are playing, because they have their friends and family, and some food to eat that day. Everyone has the right to be happy, and if they can be in their situation, shouldn’t you?

“Happiness consists more in small conveniences of pleasures that occur every day, than in great pieces of good fortune that happen but seldom to a man in the course of his life.” – Ben Franklin (1706-1790)

Happiness is inside us, in our minds, in our thinking. It is not external material things or experiences, but the enjoyment of our thoughts and feelings. This is good because our thoughts, and therefore our happiness, are up to us.

Start by reviewing the things that you have to be happy about and dwell on these. Don’t overlook the little or basic things that you take for granted.

Make a habit of substituting unhappy thoughts with happy thoughts. Whenever an unfavorable picture enters your mind, eject it and replace it with a pleasant one. We all have some nice experiences to recollect and there are usually little pleasures around us most of the time. You can even imagine enjoyable experiences, and it will have a similar positive effect.

“Happiness is like a butterfly which, when pursued, is always beyond our grasp, but, if you will sit down quietly, may alight upon you.” – Nathaniel Hawthorne (1804-1864)

Establish good principles and conduct yourself according to these principles. Love, or at least be tolerant of, your fellow humans. Don’t strive too hard for that which, in the end, will not make you happier.

- - - - -
Ross Galan, NLP Spiritual Life Coach

The Essence of Happiness

I will never forget the dedication in the book of one of the most reputable experts on the subject of motivation, the American Dr. David J. Schwartz, The Magic of Thinking Big. When his six-year old son completed kindergarten, Dr. Schwartz asked him what he would like to be when he grew up. Without hesitation, the child replied, “Dad, I want to be a professor.” “A professor? A professor of what?”  Dr Schwartz asked. “Well, Dad,” his son replied, “I think I want to be a professor of happiness.”  “A professor of happiness!” That’s a pretty wonderful ambition, don’t you think? To them – David, a fine boy with a grand goal, and to his mother, this book is dedicated.

If we were to ask what light is, we would get the most accurate description from a person who had lost the ability to see, and if we were to ask what freedom is, we would certainly get the best explanation from a person who had lost it. However, I do not believe it necessary to ask anyone what happiness is.

Most people think that happiness is a result of personal qualities and circumstances which cannot be measured. For others, the goal of happiness is “all or nothing.” One of the best tennis players in the world, Arancha Sánchez-Vicario (a Spaniard), gave the following answer to the question “What is a nice day for you?” Her answer was “A day that I feel happy.”

There is no direct road to happiness, except through our own adaptation and adjustment. But what does that mean? It means that we should not live our lives waiting to become happy, but rather continuously and persistently dedicating ourselves to learning to experience personal happiness. Sometimes people are blind to the happiness around them, and the more opportunities for happiness they get, the unhappier they feel. For truly happy people, time ceases to exist; they seldom peek at their wristwatches. There are no unsolvable problems for the truly happy. They constantly smile and simply live their lives.

So what can we do to adapt to this new way of living?

We shouldn’t always wonder and ask what we need to do in order to achieve absolute happiness. Sometimes, quite often in fact, we must know what not to do – what we must avoid and distance ourselves from – so that we can become happier. An obstacle for our happiness could be fear of acting wrongly or incorrectly. This is a problem we experience from very early childhood to our golden years. The problem exists because we are used to other people telling us what is proper and improper – what is right and wrong. If we decide to form and develop our happiness ourselves, it is up to us to balance the guiding influence of moral and social conventions with the fundamental freedom of moral self-determination.

Regardless of how they connect with our careers, our education, business, family, health, wealth, perfection, glory and power our dreams and desires have their own paths. Once we are able to truly believe that we will find and follow this path, we will certainly become happier. Such faith gives us enormous power, divine guidance and inner strength to walk our path with confidence and accept our challenges with grace. Therefore, we have to learn to strive toward giving our best effort every day, to carefully measure all our thoughts, words or deeds, and to try to realize whether they make us happy or unhappy.

The ultimate goal is achieving absolute happiness. Millions of people look for it, but only handfuls create it themselves.

- - - - -
Ross Galan, NLP Spiritual Life Coach

Tend To Your Own Happiness

Many of us wish for more happiness. We want to lead happier, more fulfilling, lives, but the sad truth is that so many of us that wish for more happiness spend much more time tending the happiness of others than we do tending to our own happiness.

Happiness does not simply happen. A person does not suddenly stumble across happiness. Happiness is the result of careful tending and a person who wishes to be happy must tend to their own happiness.

Tending to your happiness does not need to be difficult, complex, or time-consuming. It can be as simple as this four-step formula:

1.     Trash your unhappy thoughts and trends

2.     Envision yourself happy

3.     Needs fulfilled

4.     Desires fulfilled

Making yourself a happier person really can be that simple.

Step one is an important one because unhappiness is a self-fulfilling prophecy. Many people are unhappy because they don’t believe they deserve to be happy and they lock themselves into patterns of behavior that make them unhappy. You must trash your unhappy thoughts and trends.

Look inside yourself and find out what (and when) you think about things that make you unhappy. Is there a specific time of day that you tend to be more unhappy? Is there a specific task or routine that seems to feed your unhappiness? Is there something that you do or think that contributes to your own unhappiness?

Once you identify the areas of your life that cause you unhappiness you can find ways to confront it and combat it. Sometimes you can make a change to avoid the trouble spot altogether, but when that’s not possible find ways to make it less difficult on yourself. Adjust your schedule or your expectations if that will make things better. Recruit help when you can. Just easing off one task or freeing up a few hours can make a huge difference in your attitude. When all else fails and you can’t change or share something unpleasant than don’t hesitate to give yourself a reward for accomplishing it. Knowing you will be rewarded can sometimes make difficult tasks more palatable.

Step two is the key. Some people have been unhappy for so long they have forgotten what happiness looks like and feels like. Envisioning yourself happy can help create the happiness habit. Thinking about your own happiness will also help counterbalance times when you are unhappy or working through unpleasant tasks. Think about difficult times as simply stepping stones to happy times.

Step three cannot be overlooked. If your basic needs for food and sleep are not met then you will not be able to focus on happiness. Obviously it is not impossible for hungry, sleep-deprived people to be happy, but most humans are a lot less likely to be happy in that state. Food and sleep provide fuel for both body and mind and the healthier your body and mind then the better chance you have to achieve happiness.

Step four is the final step to achieving happiness. What do you desire? What do you wish for? What do you dream about? Allow yourself to dream big but don’t overlook small wishes and desires. While a two-week cruise might be great just having a weekend at a local resort might really give the rest, relaxation and escape you might need. Or perhaps you’d really like to lose 30 or 50 pounds but finding a way to work in some exercise a few times a week might give you more immediate gratification while eventually accomplishing your long-term goal.

Make a list of your desires, wishes, and dreams — big and small — and keep that list some place handy. What can you do this week to achieve a small goal? What can you do this month to take a step toward a big goal? Sometimes you don’t even need to accomplish your goals to achieve happiness. Sometimes it is simply enough to know that you are working toward your dreams. Often happiness is found on the path to our dreams. Often happiness is created while we strive to make our wishes come true.

You can make yourself a happier person but you must tend to your happiness. So often we spend more time tending to our outer possessions than we do tending to our inner ones. You can make a few changes to your life to find a better balance and that will help create more personal happiness for you.

- - - - -
Ross Galan, NLP Spiritual Life Coach

 Supreme Self-Esteem

Self-esteem is incredibly important. In fact, I think it is so important that I am going to say that again. Self-esteem is incredibly important. Many people have the notion that it is the same as self-confidence; however it is far more than just self-confidence. If we look further into the origins of the word esteem itself, as we look etymologically, it comes from the word an estimate, which literally means ‘to put a value on.’ As you might guess, this word shares the same root as the word ‘estimate.’ Therefore, we can see that self-esteem, really does just mean; the value we put on ourselves.

Now then, what are the key components of self-esteem? When someone has high self-esteem, they have a genuine, deep rooted sense of self; they actually like (and often love) themselves; they can and do recognise and be in control of their internal state; and they have a sound sense of purpose, or rather they act and behave with purpose. These are not magical gifts that we were given at birth, oh no. One of the key concepts in many of my self-improvement or change programmes or writings is a presupposition of Neuro Linguistic Programming (NLP) and that is: what others do, you can learn. So that is where I am going to start here, by indicating and illustrating just what it is that people with high self-esteem actually do, I am going to break it down into easily consumable chunks so that you can replicate them and apply them to your own life immediately.
These things, if applied in the correct way, can have an amazing impact on anyone’s self-esteem.

Developing Your Own Sense of Self:

Many of the individuals that I have worked with over the years tell me that they lack self-confidence. I hear it so very often. As mentioned previously, self-esteem is the value we place on ourselves whereas self-confidence relates to our actions. Again, if we look at the word ‘self-confidence’ it means to trust in ourselves, so at its root it implies some kind of challenge or task that is to be undertaken in some way. To be more specific, confidence usually relates to our ability to do something or to have some kind of competency. We are confident in our ability to do something, to behave in a particular way in a particular situation, to take on a particular challenge.

It has been my experience that it is almost impossible to have self-confidence if we do not have self-esteem.

I once worked with a lady who was naturally very gifted in her specialised field and was a legal secretary. Following her initial training and joining a legal firm, she was recognised by the senior partners as being intelligent, conscientious and diligent as well as hard working. She really was an asset to the company and got on very well with her colleagues. At the end of her first year of working for the company, she was offered a more senior position and she was given some additional responsibility along with a slight increase in her salary.

Following three years in this role, the legal team office manager role became available and as she had been as good as running the office anyway, one of the company’s senior partners recommended that she apply. The partner felt that she deserved the role and encouraged her to apply. But, the lady in question was rather taken aback by the suggestion; she did not feel qualified or competent enough to take the role on or to even consider applying. She had always managed to successfully find reasons for dismissing praise, she told herself that she simply did not deserve it and that anyone could have done what she did and that there would come a day that one of the partners would realise that she was not that good at her job and she would be shown for what she really was. Therefore she just did not apply. Remarkable. What’s more, I know that you know someone just like this.

I encounter so many people like this. Masses of them! People that have this low self-esteem and are not able to generalise from the obvious successful results that they are having, or the acknowledgement they receive. It is almost as if they don’t ‘hear’ the praise that they are given. Because of this, the lady I mentioned earlier lacked the confidence to apply for the promotion; and many people with low self-esteem consistently and continually underachieve in their lives. Most of them spend their entire lifetimes underestimating themselves and feeling that they are not worthy.

So what we are going to do is to explore. Over the years I have investigated those people that do have self-esteem and how they actually think and behave. It is all about that probing question ‘How do they do that?”

When I worked at the Independent National newspaper in central London when I was younger, the newspaper had been bought by a new owner and was moving from where the previous owners, the Mirror group were based, in Canary Wharf in Docklands, London, to new premises in a slightly different part of London. A girl called Samantha was the Managing Directors PA and rather than using a proper project manager of some sort, the MD organised the relocation himself with Samantha’s help.

She liked being who she was, had done well at school, this was only her second job and she had worked up the secretarial ranks to become the MD’s PA. She did not mind being asked to help with anything out of the ordinary or unusual. The day before the office relocation was due to happen, the MD was involved in a car accident and had to take some time off due to being in hospital for a night and then off for a period of recovery. Another director asked Samantha if she would oversee the relocation as she had been so involved in the process. She was very slightly apprehensive but of course agreed with no hesitation: after all, she knew most of the arrangements that had been made, and what’s more the MD had a mobile that she could call if she was desperate.

Now I mention this because you can see the differences between the two people in those examples. Not only did Samantha have a more easygoing temperament than the lady mentioned in my first example, she was also far more comfortable with herself and of course that naturally meant that she could take the leap of confidence in herself that was required for her to take on the last minute responsibility.

Both of the women were extremely capable, however, the first mentioned lady had a low sense of self-worth, whereas Samantha believed in herself. So, what about you? I would like you to answer these questions to yourself:

• Can you accept a compliment straight, without verbally or non-verbally deflecting it and without dismissing it or having to qualify it in your mind.

• Are you ever afraid that you may well be ‘found out’ one day?

• Can you list 5-10 things that you like about yourself without hesitation, just doing it straight away?

• What is your reaction (internally and externally) when you are asked to try something that you have not done before, something new?

• What do you say to yourself inside your mind when you are about to do something that challenges you or that is difficult?

Really take some time and even consider writing down your answers, it is always good to see this kind of information in writing as well as it being in your mind. Then, what do your answers suggest about you and how much you like yourself? Do you think well of yourself? Are you happy being you? Are you critical about yourself and your abilities? I recommend writing these down again because you can then compare and contrast your answers when you have finished following these techniques and strategies. So, lets move on to those strategies and techniques.

The first of the strategies that I want to mention is:

Accepting Compliments

Quite simply, the easiest way to accept a compliment is just by saying “Thank You.” Not too difficult is it? Remember a compliment that someone has paid you, however small or minor you may consider it: imagine hearing it in your head again, play it over and over or better still, say it out loud to yourself and then say “Thank You.” You may want to experiment with a variety of tones of voice or accents or mannerisms as well as different facial expressions to find some of the ways that resonate the best with you and that seems the most natural.

You need to push your boundaries out here and really do this. Practice this over and over. I would recommend that you practice this in front of a mirror too even if it does feel unusual. Then, on the next occasion that someone gives you a compliment, because there will be some, catch what you do, even if your old response tries to kick in again. Even if it does, notice what you did and just offer a “Thank You” anyway. As you keep on doing this your brain will learn the new response and will begin doing it automatically.

Worrying about being found out:

Hmmm. Ok, ask yourself this question: ‘What exactly is it that I do not want other people to know about me?’ Really ask yourself that and answer it thoroughly and precisely. The majority of people just don’t want people to think badly of them or their abilities. This kind of worry or fear almost always has to do with what you anticipate happening and not what actually does happen; it tends to be removed from reality.

So now is time for a reality check. These people that often feel unworthy about their capabilities at work or about their attractiveness are underestimating themselves. You should observe the other people at your work or in your life that seem quite contented with themselves and notice that contentment and ability are not related. They are not correlated. At the same time, you only have to take a good look at couples in any public place to notice that beauty really is in the eye of the beholder. It has often helped to ask two very powerful questions here to discover other possible reasons for your unnecessary worries:

• What stops you (feeling good about yourself)?

• What would happen if you did (feel good about yourself)?

Learning to Like You:

Ok, it is time to take out your self-esteem journal or that piece of paper to write on again. As we touched on earlier, I would like you to list anything you can think of that you like about yourself. It might be the dimples in your cheeks when you smile, or the crookedness of your teeth, or the fact that you can spell words really easily, or that you have good morals, or that you are honest. Absolutely anything applies here. Keep on collecting and adding to this list. Now check this list against your logical levels exercise that you did at the very beginning of this programme. Think about your environment, your beliefs and values, your capabilities, your behaviour and identity and think about your characteristics on each level and find more and more things on many differing levels that contribute to your own unique identity. Then keep this list somewhere important to be able to refer to and remind yourself often of its contents.

Doing Different Things:

Lots of us react with fright, fear and anxiety when confronted with new things! Oh, no, a new thing! So if you do respond that way, spell out the worst case scenarios you have in your mind. Really spell them out, write them down if it will help. Sometimes this is enough to make you realise that they are silly fears or maybe they are a bit (or a lot) unlikely. I bet they are. However, if your worst case scenario could happen, think about how it could be managed and overcome. Take it a step further and think about someone you know would overcome it – what exactly would they do? How would they go about it? So, instead of letting that fear harbour itself deep within you as if you were burying it, take it on and find and create a strategy for dealing with it. Much more often than not at least one of these approaches can and will defuse the anxiety. Now, if it doesn’t, your intuition and instincts may well be right: so don’t do it!

Communicating With You:

I have written a lot before about our internal dialogue, if you really have too much of it and you want to use it far better, I would recommend you read my best-selling book ‘The Secrets of Self-Hypnosis: Harnessing the Power of Your Unconscious Mind’ or you look through the archives of my ezine for the article that I wrote on it before. Please remember the archive is temporary, please read those articles before they are moved.
The point I want to make here is that if you persist on telling yourself not to make an idiot of yourself in front of others, or remembering how things went wrong the last time, or highlighting to yourself how useless you are, then that internal dialogue voice may well be contributing to your problem. In fact, I know it is!

So instead, begin to think: what would you say to someone else in the same situation if you wanted to encourage them? Work it out and again, write it down. How would you encourage them? Then continue to say those things to yourself. Do this. Say those things to yourself instead of all that other nonsense that you used to persist on saying. Be convincing and sincere; really mean it. Now how does that feel? To have that kind of progressive internal dialogue instead. It can be like a breath of fresh air for your brain, you are nurturing it. Because we engage in it so very much, each time you create some internal dialogue the more supportive you become and this makes a real difference to you self-esteem and your self-confidence.

Self-Esteem Telling Signals:

How can you tell if someone has self-esteem? It is so easy to tell, though not many people actually notice. One of the surest indicators is that people with self-esteem just do not need to prove themselves. By that I mean that they do not need to:

• Boast.

• Put others down

• Show off

• Name-drop

• Hog the limelight

• Tell you all about themselves and their achievements

It is often individuals who do these seemingly confident behaviours that have quite low self-esteem.

Earlier this year, I was speaking at a large conference in Las Vegas and over 500 people were there to listen to the team of speakers of which I was one. The main speaker was someone I had heard of and is very well known across the world and so I wanted to speak to them as much as I could and glean some tips or just get to know them. I wanted to do the same with all the speakers and as we were waiting to go on stage, I took some time out to chat with all the speakers and they were all nice and at ease, no-one displaying any signs of anxiety at the prospect of speaking to this large audience. However, I really did notice that the well known speaker asked no questions of any of the others, in fact they did not show any interest in any of the other speakers at all. Which surprised me a little. Instead, the person maintained a relaxed demeanour and outward appearance but focused all the time on them self. It was all one way and self-centred. I suspected that they were not at all comfortable being this well-known speaker at all. I confirmed this later on when that person asked me if I would spend some time with them to help coach them through some things that they wanted to deal with following a later conversation.

People with true, genuine, real, sincere self-esteem, however well known they are, usually display very different characteristics:

• They have a quiet confidence

• They do not fish for compliments – but they do accept them well: they know what they are worth

• They may be quite humble

• They recognise and are often interested in other people and their achievements

•They may not be bothered about receiving external recognition

You can read the body language of someone with self-esteem as it usually speaks for them. They are often physically relaxed, upright, calm and measured in movement, they are decisive and without hesitation and they make good eye contact freely and comfortably.
It has been my experience that despite there being so many people out there who display apparent confidence and competence, actually doubt themselves and their own abilities. (hey, you may well be one of them) I know I spent years and years showing off due to a lack of self-esteem. These days I just show off because I am childish and silly. I joke. These people though, may well stand up for others, but fail to stand up for themselves. They may well be sensitive and sympathetic – but not about their own limitations. Bear in mind that when you meet other people, whether they are dominating and outgoing or just quietly efficient, they may both have a serious lack of self-esteem.

As with so many things, as with so many areas that I work within and as we have touched on already, modelling can really help. Stop and think about people you know who have a strong sense of self: how do they behave? How do they seem to think? What is important to them? What do they believe? What tells you that they are genuinely comfortable with themselves? Trust your intuition here and make the most of your observations. Again, note this stuff down.

Imagine that you were someone else that is watching you from the outside. As you look at yourself, how could you begin incorporate what you have learnt from your self valuation and apply them to yourself. Really have a think about that.

- - - - -
Ross Galan, NLP Spiritual Life Coach